Back in my student days, I made a small but embarrassing mistake in a performance. At my next lesson my teacher, Lynne Palmer, listened patiently while I wept over my unworthiness to live, let alone play the harp.
“Do you know,” Palmer said very softly, leaning towards me, “how many really perfect performances I had?” I blinked, speechless. “I can count them on one hand.” She held her hand in front of me.
My surprise at her modesty was increased by the thought of how many performances – brilliant performances – that hand must have played. This incredible musician had studied with Carlos Salzedo; had played under the batons of Toscanini, Ormandy, and Stokowski; had won the very first Curtis Award in 1949 (against such competition as the young Leonard Bernstein). I will never forget that moment, her humility, and the sense of acceptance and forgiveness.
Some people are really good at shaking off a bad moment. Others are good at holding on to the memory of imperfection and even cultivating it in their minds like an expert gardener until the thing is positively monumental. I guess I am somewhere in the middle.
If you have ever planned, produced, or served in a large social event, you understand the unpredictability of human endeavors. We do great things and we do our best, but stuff happens. A sense of humor is crucial. To that end, I present Five Funny Things I Have Seen At Weddings and Events (in no particular order).
1. A bride had purchased beautiful artificial flowers, made of some kind of fabric, that her bridesmaids could take home and keep forever. The flowers were arranged on long bouquets, like a beauty pageant winner would carry. One bridesmaid was standing too close in front of the lit candelabra that the church provided, and – poof! – her flowers burst into flames. No bridesmaids were injured in the making of this scenario. A groomsman stomped out the fire and they all lived happily ever after, as far as I know.

2. Many years ago I was booked to play for an evening cruise on Lake Union. I knew the location of the dock, but had not expected such a small ship. Before me lay a somewhat narrow wooden plank that connected the ship to the dock, suspended some 10 feet over the water. The stuff of nightmares. I parked my harp’s dolly and went to tell the hostess that I could not wheel it over. I just couldn’t risk it. The guy she enlisted to carry the harp onto the ship was a workman from the neighboring ship who cursed, in French, under his breath the entire time. I apologized and thanked him, in my own rusty French.
3. I was hired to play for a Renaissance themed wedding in which everyone was dressed in 16th century garb. Including the dog, who came down the aisle just ahead of the bride. Dog of Honor? I was just so glad that the dog didn’t do what dogs do (emphasis on that last word) when they get nervous.
4. This one didn’t actually happen to me personally. I just find it so funny. An acquaintance was hired to play at the Convention Center for an event. She was positioned at the top of an escalator and given a mermaid suit to wear. Keep in mind, in order to play a pedal harp, one needs both hands and feet, but this harpist’s feet were to be enclosed in her mermaid tail. “Not a problem!” The only thing they wanted her to play was glissandi – that’s where you just run your finger up and down the strings, up and down, up and down… For 45 minutes.
5. I was playing with a fiddler for a Scottish wedding and we launched into the processional requested by the bride, “Mairi’s Wedding.” It’s a peppy tune for a processional – usually a more stately piece is chosen – but the bride was certain of her choice. Or so we thought. After playing through the short tune twice, the whole wedding party was out, except for the bride. We kept playing, and playing… After what seemed like 5 minutes, my fiddle player actually walked out of the room and into the hall – while still playing! – to find the bride standing there looking confused. The poor lady thought we were going to play something else and was waiting for the music to change.
I have seen many mishaps over the years: dresses ripping, bee stings, outdoor decorations spoiled by wind, people so consumed by emotion that they could only sob and not say their vows. “The best laid plans of mice and men…” And yet, the imperfect events are sometimes the most impressive.
When you listen to a music CD, the imperfections have been scrubbed out through multiple “takes” and countless technical tricks. But in a live performance, what you play is what you get. And yet, errors are rarely noticed by an audience. That is because the live experience is worth so much more than the sum of its parts. The humanity and the art speak louder than the technical details. And so it is in life. And so shall it be for you.

www.cynthiakuni.com
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